Duels
by Hila
Summary: the third of the trilogy. Kurama is in some serious trouble... shonen-ai (Kurama/Hiei duh!)
1. Duel

Yo!  
  
the third of the trilogy (I hope ^^). Thanks to all those who gave me comments about the other  
two! and this time I really need your help: I'm stuck! If you have any ideas about how I should  
end this TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
and yes C&C are more than ever welcome.  
  
little notes: 1) I think that Kurama (especially in yohko form) resembles Hiei a lot: they have  
the same sens of irony. I hope this isn't too much OOC.  
  
2) the ~~~~~~~ mean a change in p.o.v and the ****** mean a little jump in time.  
  
disclaimers at the end  
  
enjoy!!  
  
  
  
  
Duels:  
  
That's it, he hates me.  
  
We've been working together on this case for hours now and he didn't look   
at me once! What did I hope for anyways? That he'd ask me if I   
reconsidered what I said?  
  
Well I actually did hope for that, but I know he'd never do it. I humiliated   
him enough when I refused, he's not going to humiliate himself further; he's   
so proud and –  
  
"Hiei?"  
  
I go over to him, although I don't think he really wants me to. He's standing   
in a corner, far from the others so they won't be able to hear us. They're all   
fussing over Kaito anyways, they won't notice.  
  
"Hn." I can't look at him, I can't look up and see the hate in his eyes, I can't   
let him see me weak like this, can't let him see the power he has over me.  
  
"I'm sorry"  
  
What?! What is *he* sorry about? This time I do look up, I can't control   
myself any more and if he'd care to look he'd probably be able to see my   
emotions as clearly as if they were written on my bandana.  
  
"What for?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
That's it, he hates me.  
  
During the whole time we were in this house he didn't look at me once.   
This can't go on any longer though. We'll have to fight together at one   
point or another of this mission. Let's try to be at least civil to each other.  
  
"Hiei?" I didn't say that very loudly but I know he heard it: we're standing   
so close to each other it hurts. But that's what the others expect and we   
don't want them nosing around.  
  
He actually comes! Unfortunately it is all too obvious he doesn't want to.  
  
"Hn." All this seems so normal, but he still refuses to look at me. It hurts so   
much. It would be so much better even if he glared at me while saying that,   
like he does to the others, but he probably can't stand looking at me now.  
  
Well, like I said: we'll have to at least try and be civil to each other and   
work as a team if we want to finish this mission alive. I might as well try to   
regain my best friend.  
  
"I'm sorry." That didn't sound half as confident as I wanted it to. It sounded   
more like I was pleading, which I probably was. I can't stand this situation   
anymore!  
  
A moment passes in silence as I wait for his reaction, now he probably   
despises me as well, for begging.  
  
"What for?"  
  
Huh? I turn to him and our eyes meet for a fraction of a second. I saw a lot   
of things in his eyes, I couldn't, didn't have the time to distinguish them all   
but I didn't see any hate, any loathing, any despise. I saw confusion and –  
  
"Yo Kurama! We need you over here!"  
  
I wish the moment could have lasted longer, I wanted to ask him…  
  
He probably was too stunned by the fact that I put my pride aside to beg him   
to feel anything but confusion right now.  
  
Well, I can at least try:  
"I –"  
  
"Yo Kurama! Hurry up!"  
  
" – have to go!"  
  
I went to help Yusuke. I knew why he called me and, as much as I love   
Hiei, somebody's life was at stake.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
What has just happened?  
  
What was he about to say?   
  
I…when he looked at me there was no hate. There was confusion, confusion   
and something else. Just a few more seconds and…  
  
And he would have been able to see through me. It's better this way.  
  
But I lost all the courage I somehow managed to build – up.  
Ch' screw the parole, I'm outahere!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He left…  
  
"Kurama? You still with us?"  
  
"Oh yes, of course! He'll be okay by tomorrow morning, a slight nausea   
maybe…"  
  
"Yeah, I can testify about the nausea!"  
  
"Hai Kuwabara – kun, it'll help if you took those herbs I gave you –"  
  
"But they taste like –"  
  
"Like Makai herbs!"  
  
"Whoever asked for your opinion baka?"  
  
"Who are you calling baka?"  
  
Well at least it's entertaining. It gives me time to think. But I don't want to   
think about it, I don't want to get false hopes…  
  
***********************************************************************************  
  
Ok, so we're friend again. That's what I wanted, no?   
  
We're such great friends that he even comes to me after he fights with his   
new girlfriend! I always think that if we had a little more time back in the   
mansion, if I had time to decipher his emotions…  
  
Oh Hell, I won't get anywhere with 'what if's'. All of that is past and I have   
more irritating problems to deal with now –  
  
"Kurama!"  
  
Speaking of irritating problems…  
  
"So you finally decided to come back?"  
  
I thought that this was past as well; unfortunately I was wrong. Serves me   
right for paying others to do my work for me.  
  
"Like I had the choice!"  
  
I hate being blackmailed! Especially by horned youkai whom I tried to kill!  
  
"But of course you did!"  
  
I really should tell my mother everything: it would solve about three quarters   
of my current problems.  
  
"What do you want from me?"  
  
"You know very well what I want"  
  
"Look Yom, it was fun while it lasted –"  
  
"And then you got bored and tried to kill me. I know, I know. But you   
could try and make it up now."  
  
Jeez! Has he gotten really stupid during these last few years or what?  
"What part of 'NO' don't you understand?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Hn, so that baka kitsune managed to get himself into trouble again.  
  
"You look troubled Hiei"  
  
"None of your business!"  
  
Ok, where was I?  
  
"Does it have anything to do with Kurama?"  
  
I swear! The moment I'm strong enough I'll kill her!  
  
"I said: none of your damned business!"  
  
"You're in e bad mood aren't you? Go kill some youkai and come back   
when you feel better, you wouldn't want to burn my palace to the ground   
would you?"  
  
Since when does *she* know me so well?  
  
"Hn."  
  
She is right though; it is about him. He told me that he was going back to   
Yomi, to train. Much the same as I did with Mukuro. Why does it bother   
me then? If he wants to be with Yomi…But then I made him believe that I   
was with Mukuro. Just another mistake to add to my long list.  
  
That night, in the mansion, he saw everything and chose to ignore it. But   
still, he forgave me, so we're friends again.  
  
We both went on with our lives: he is happy with Yomi and think that I'm   
with Mukuro.  
  
Hn. Good for him!  
  
If everything is so right why does something feels wrong?  
  
It's been a while but now it's stronger. A strange feeling at the base of the   
neck, like something bad is going to happen…  
  
Ch' what has the fox gotten himself into again?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
What have I gotten myself into?  
  
Stupid yohko pride!  
  
That's what I get for over – estimating myself again. I really should stop   
doing thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat  
  
Why do I keep talking to myself anyway? I should really start concentrating   
on the fight!  
  
"Do you give – up yet Kurama? You know that I'll get what I want   
anyways."  
  
"Not if I win!" but I won't. Even in this form I'm weaker than him, I have   
no chance.  
And to think that I was the boss once. Guess it's jus –  
  
Arg! My shoulder!  
  
I'm not as fast as I thought either.  
  
"Come on, give up! I don't want to have to kill you, you'll be no fun after!"  
  
Is there something about me that keeps attracting psychos?  
  
But then, he wanted to kill me too…  
Stop that! This is so much not the right time!  
  
There! An opening! If I can – no, he saw it. I can try…no, too late.   
Careful! Duck, dodge, block, jump, block, dodge, step back…wow! That   
was way too close!  
  
"You can't keep going like that forever. If you are too proud to give – up   
you shouldn't have suggested this duel."  
  
How can he still talk? I'm barely breathing! But I'm not going to give – up   
I have too much to lose. I'd rather he actually kill me: if he wins it will be   
far worse than before.  
  
He is getting ready to attack, it will be the last one. I know I can't keep this   
out much longer.  
  
I'm ashamed to even think this but I wish that he'd kill me. Must be the   
yohko pride again, I'm much better off dead than if he wins and I'm still   
alive.  
  
'Kaasan, you'll never know. Please forgive me. Hiei…  
  
  
end part 1  
  
  
disclaimers: none of the characters belong to me bla bla bla bla DON'T SUE!!! I have no money!  
  
n.b. don't you ever buy the french dub of the second yyh movie (argh! yohko kurama with a  
higher voice than Shuichi) 


	2. Sunset

Disclaimers: see first chapter  
  
Author's notes: I didn't really know where to place the tiny first scene but it's   
essential to the story.   
  
- The *** show the changing of scenes and of narration (I'm back to 1st person   
narration)   
  
- The Italics show the poem on which this chapter was based (it's called "Sunset" and   
I wrote it)  
  
Special thank to my friend Nogitsune (although she kinda disappeared) and to all   
those who reviewed my last chapter! I love ya all ^_________^  
  
  
Duels (part 2)  
  
  
"Where's Kurama?"  
  
"Oh, hello Hiei! It's nice of you to come visit me. But I'm sorry, Kurama   
isn't free to see you right now."  
  
"Where is he?"  
  
"I can't tell you."  
  
"Hn"  
  
"Are you defying me? Interesting…I accept. If you win I'll take you to   
Kurama, if, on the other hand, you lose I'll put you in prison."  
  
"Deal."  
  
***  
***  
***  
***  
***  
  
The sun has set  
The light has gone  
But I, I don't care:  
My eyes are closed  
  
It's night, I suppose. Here it's always night but I just got what could be   
considered my 'evening meal' so it's probably night outside. I like to think   
that it's right after dusk, that it's not dark yet. But it's not really important is   
it? Nothing is important: not here, not now. Even…  
  
The bird fell asleep  
The moon's to come  
But I, I don't care:  
My eyes are closed  
  
I should go to sleep now but I don't want to. What if he came when I slept?   
He kept me alive for the past month; he must have a reason. Oh, I know   
what he wants and he knows that I know, so why hasn't he come yet?   
  
Feh, look at me trying to think, as if I cared anymore. It's unnerving; I can't   
seem to be able to bring myself to do anything but sleep and eat. It's as if all   
my thoughts, my ideas, my plans, have all been locked somewhere and I   
can't bring them out. Or is it that I don't want to?  
  
The room is dark  
The door is locked  
But I, I don't care:  
My eyes are closed  
  
I have so many wards on me that I can't even know for sure if they drain my   
ki or if they lock it up. I feel like I'm blind, deaf and have gloves on my   
hands. Is he so afraid that I'm going to run away? Isn't my word enough?   
Even as a yohko I always kept my word, I had my pride!  
  
And that's what got me here in the first place.  
  
I don't want to go there though; the memories of what pushed me into this   
castle are too painful. Is that the reason for this apathy? Am I just trying to   
forget? Am I such a coward? Do I care?  
  
No. My will to survive has never been overly strong. Now even less. My   
pride went to take a hike along the way.  
I should just go to sleep, rest, forget. Yes, that would be best –   
  
What's this noise? Has he finally decided to come take care of me? Sure,   
why not. He might even kill me after, I hope he does.  
  
Your breath on my cheek  
Your face so close  
But I, I shouldn't care:  
My eyes are closed  
  
I hear footsteps; the person is obviously not very steady. It's not him; either   
that or he is very drunk. Whoever it is, he's coming towards me. I can   
sense that he's examining me but I can't tell who it is, I just can't open my   
eyes.  
  
"Kurama?"  
  
That voice…  
  
"Hiei?" I whisper, not because I want to, I just don't have the strength to do   
anything else. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Hn. I'm stuck here."  
  
I feel warm at his words; he had nothing to look for anywhere near Yomi's   
territory. Maybe he cares, just a little.  
  
I imagine your lips  
I dream of your eyes  
It's all I can do:  
My eyes are closed  
  
It's so strange: to feel alive after so long. But even as I relish my newfound   
life I know that it won't last, the more energy I spend now the faster I'll die   
later. And suddenly it matters. I know I can't postpone it but I don't want   
to let myself die in Yomi's dungeon. I won't give him that pleasure!  
  
"Hiei" I know that my voice sounds steadier as I speak "can I ask you a   
favor?"  
  
I feel him nod, he understands. No more need for words now: he   
understood his role and has accepted it. I don't know if I should be happy   
that he accepted or sad that he is willing to do it so easily.  
  
He is as heavily warded as me and his katana is gone but strangely I feel,   
more than see, the green glow from his jagan. It is beyond me how he can   
still use is.  
  
One last thing though, I have to tell him. "Ai shiteru Hiei" even if you don't   
want to hear it, I add mentally.  
  
::Ore mo, ai shiteru Kurama:: I can hear his voice in my head…of course   
baka! His jagan! ::Hn, my baka:: and he can hear my thoughts too, I forgot.  
  
I'm happy, now I really am, even if it is too late. I know it's now or never:   
"arigato Hiei" and I mean every nuance of these words.  
  
I barely catch his answer: "We'll meet again."  
  
I smile as I feel his forehead on mine  
  
I know your love   
And I know it's mine  
But now, I should let go:  
My eyes have closed  
  
  
~owari~  
  
  
so, did ya like it?  



	3. Sunrise

Author's notes: I couldn't pass on writing a sort of epilogue to this series do here's th final chapter. These are Hiei's thoughts after Kurama's death  
  
disclaimers: I don't own YYH (though I'd steal Hiei and Kurama if I could ^^)  
  
Enjoy!  
  
  
  
Duels: part 3  
  
  
  
I love you. It took me so long to say these words, these words that you have said to me, said them twice.  
  
Is it why you gave up? No, don't answer. Don't tell me that it's my fault, don't tell me that I could have done something because…well, because I know I could have. I feel guilty enough as it is, don't make it worse.  
  
I came here looking for you. I knew when that bastard made his deal with me that there was a pitfall.  
  
What did he do to you? Nothing, your mind told me. He did nothing to you, you did it all to yourself and it's even worse. What happened to make you wish to die so badly?  
  
I wish I came earlier, before you decided to die. Yes, you see: I know that you didn't die of despair or loneliness or any sappy reason. You died because you decided it was the best solution and I came too late to change your mind. They say that I'm stubborn but then, you're at least as stubborn as me if not more so.  
  
I told you that I loved you, it took all my courage to do it. And I hate you. I hate you for making me feel, for breaking my barriers. I was afraid of your rejection but what I got was even worse: I got you eternal gratitude and love…but I also got your death.  
  
I killed you didn't I? There was some sort of problem with the ward Yomi put on me…and he probably knew it too. I don't regret it. I regret that you died but not what I did. There was no way for me to stop your death, why not make it painless if I could?  
  
I love you. Why is it so easy for me to say it now? I still hold your body, you know? I won't leave it here either for that bastard to keep. I'm taking it with me when I leave this hole and I'm leaving soon. I don't intend to stay here more than I have too.  
  
I lost my duel against Yomi, there is no way I could have won. But I know that, if I train enough, I'll be able to kill him at the next Makai Tournament. I do intend to take my revenge, I'll dedicate my victory to you.  
  
I love you. And I hate you for dying. I can't promise you forever but I do hope we'll meet again. Maybe we'll be put in the same Hell. I'm not stupid, I know that you're like me: you've done enough in your life to end up in one of the Hells for a long time. If I don't do anything worse than what I've already done, I might go to the same Hell as you. I don't know if we'll meet in another life; I don't know if Enma will let me reincarnate.  
  
You'll always be my first love but, although I'm not sure if I will love again, I'm not going to die. It will be an insult to you if I did. I refuse to insult the life you gave me by dying, not for a long time. Because you did: you gave me life. It is because of you that the walls and chains around my heart have vanished. It is because of you that I learned what love is. It's because of you that I have to face my new life alone.  
  
I'm not bitter. Not towards you at least. I'm bitter towards life in general and that bastard Yomi in particular. But not at you. I love you and I hate you but I'm not bitter. I'll stop hating you one day, that I promise. And when I do, I'll be able to remember only the beautiful gifts you gave me: the love and friendship that only you ever thought about giving me.  
  
I'm getting out of here now: I just heard the guard leave. The first thing I'll do once I'm out there is to burry you properly. I know that, even though my wards prevented me from seeing it, somebody already took you away. If it was Botan then she was probably crying. Not that I really care.  
  
I think I know where to burry you. There's this quiet place in south of Yusuke's lands. I used to go there when I needed to hide. I'll tell Yusuke and the oaf where you are buried, of course, they deserve to know. But no one else. No prize hunting youkai will steal your body and expose it as if it were a trophy.  
  
Then I'll go back to Mukuro to train and after I get our revenge I'll go some place quiet to do some thinking. I'll need time to get used to this new life so you'll excuse me if, until after I kill Yomi, I'll still be living my old life. Afterwards I'll have all the time to live and cherish your last gift.  
  
So rest in peace Kurama my friend, my love, I'll never forget you. Never.  
  
  
  
~owari~ (the real one)  
  
  
  
disclaimers: I don't own YYH (though I'd steal Hiei and Kurama if I could ^^) 


End file.
